Monday, May 19, 2008


All was going well this morning as we made our way out of Ohio and into Pennsylvania. Jacked up on coffee and free of toll roads, I settled in to enjoy my last driving shift before NY.

Barely did I even notice the cop creep past us not long after the border. Driving the rally car, one gets used to this since in most places rally car is not capable of reaching the speed limit. Sure enough, Mr. Officer zoomed ahead seconds later just like everyone has this weekend. I thought nothing of it.

Then it happened.

A few miles up the road, we came upon Mr. Officer again, parked alone on the side of the road. Waiting. My heart rate jumped. Sure enough, he pulled out a few cars back of us and I just KNEW we were his target.

Eventually he made his way up behind if us, and on came the lights. When we pulled over I noticed a second cop car pull up. Great.

So officer 1 comes up to grab our info and tells us that the reason he pulled us over was that the car is registered as being white... And obviously that's not he case anymore.

As grant is showing officer 1 the white paint inside the door, officer 2 walks up ad introduces himself by proclaiming "hey, that guy is from star wars!!!". He had noticed our dude bolted to the trunk.

We loosen up at thus point, as it seems pretty obvious that both officer 1 and officer 2 have no interest in busting us. Star wars banter goes around for a sec and they go back to run our info. Grant and I talk about what a close call that was and start to joke about officer 2 a bit...

Next thing I know, officer 1 is tapping on my window. "Mr. Heenk, please step out of the vehicle". Crap crap crap. I get out, and walk around to the back of the car. "Back over here" instructs officer 1 as he motions towards his cruiser. Judging by the expression on his face,I start to wonder what Crown Victoria hood tastes like. Craaaaaaap.

"Mr. Heenk, I know this isn't your car" he starts, "but I hope you can answer a question for us".

I think I said "of course officer".

"What exactly is that stripe on the car supposed to be? Officer 2 here thinks it's some sort of fishing lure".

HAHAHAHAHA... I almost crapped myself. When I tell them it's bacon, they bust out in big grins and proceeded to press me for details. They want to know about of the car, the rally, why we love bacon, how we are secure enough in our manhood to drive around with a chandelier in our car, etc. Best cops ever!

Grant remained clueless in the car thus whole time by the way. I had to try to explain as we got back on the road. If his reaction was anything like mine, officer 1 & 2 are still laughing at the expression I must have had on my face.

Anyway, the best part for me was when officer 1 was handing the paperwork back to Grant up in the car. Officer 2 leans in and tells me IN THE MOST SINCERE TONE "I've seen a lot of things out here in my 20 years. The batmobile, the oscar meyer weinermobile... This might just beat them all."

I thanked officer 2 and told him that's exactly what we were going for.


Mom said...

This is hysterical. It took me almost 5 minutes to quit laughing. Glad it had a good outcome.

Jason said...

In my mind, all I can see are the cops from Superbad.

V Sree said...

Wow, you guys need to save some shenanigans for us! Also, whose mom posted?

Meghan said...

Kyle I'm stealing your gmail to post because, yes i get you think i'm a loser, but i don't have a gmail account. I was thinking Superbad the whole time too. I'm kind of sad they didn't scew with you more, but sooo glad nothing bad happened. More importantly, you're changing lives. Double hugs.

Anonymous said...

That would be Kyle's mommy, from Kyle's daddy. You guys slay me, thats the 70's vernacular.

Brian said...




Side note: please tell me they had mustaches. They had mustaches, right? Please?

Tricia said...

Wow, I'm thinking this is meow like Supertroopers meow